Sunday SoulJourn: Week Three in My Spiritual Journey

16 August 2015: Steering Straight Ahead

Taking the Wheel in My Own Life
Taking the Wheel in My Own Life

My sister and I ventured back to NJ this morning for some meditation and motivation. My initial idea for this week’s post came to me as I stared at the stunning display of Buddhist images, symbols, and decor on the opposite wall. I noticed a beautiful, peach-colored lotus blossom on the shelf and knew instantly that would be the central image for today’s entry.  “I’ll stay after and ask if I can take a picture for my blog,” I thought. Then I realized I was supposed to be focusing on my breath, so I quieted my mind and pushed the idea aside until later. By the time I pulled it back in, I was in the car and headed across the NJ/PA border.

“What am I going to write about now?” I wondered for the next few hours.  I became fixated on the one idea that didn’t come to fruition and laughed.  As I mentioned during Week Two of Sunday SoulJourn, I dream big.  Part of my big dreams involve elaborate, intricate, idyllic wishes. For instance, I come up with this wondrous idea to have an award show viewing party. I can totally see it as I wish it to be: in a rented banquet hall, themed appetizers and deserts on the long tables, decorations, centerpieces on the tables, a movie screen to watch the telecast, and much more. I can see it all, but then it quickly overwhelms me and time passes. Ultimately, I end up inviting a few friends over, cook some themed dishes, and sit on my sofa in the company of good friends. As much as I try to enjoy the moment, I admittedly find myself fixated on what didn’t occur.

I thought about all this as I drove home today and realized that those grand ideas don’t come to fruition because I don’t always take the wheel and steer them where I want to go. Part of me expected everything to simply fall into place.  That I’d know the way without paying attention to the directional signs. That I didn’t need to stop for directions or ask for help, because I knew where I was headed. Deep down I thought that just by envisioning the dream, the universe would help it come to be.  The grand ideas, like singing professionally or hosting exciting themed parties, didn’t occur because I didn’t a) have enough confidence in it, b) work hard enough to make it happen, or c) believe in its significance and importance.

I didn’t keep two hands on the “wishing wheel”; I slammed on the brakes and let someone else sit in the driver’s seat. I sat passively by, watching the scenery blur by in a haze of color.

Are you the driving force in your own life? Do you sometimes feel like your dreams are too big to come true?

In a world currently overwhelmed with social media, digital advances, and fast-paced living, we sometimes race straight past Present and head towards an unknown Future. I admit to the above and, as such, decided to create Sunday SoulJourn as a reminder that life is not a race; it’s a journey.

Join me every Sunday as I reflect, ponder, and contemplate topics that tend to get overlooked as we sprint through life.

Published by Kelly Deeny

I am a writer, singer, jewelry designer, and theatre enthusiast. I use various forms of artistic expression for personal reflection, community discussion and creative inspiration. My premiere novel encapsulates all of the above. Follow along on my journey towards an artistic career!

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