Day 111 of the Artistic Spirit Pledge: The Finale

111 Day Artistic Spirit Pledge: Spiritual Growth Through Creative Expression

Day 111: Artistic Spirit Finale

Goal accomplished!
Goal accomplished!

*I wrote the following piece many years ago, during a time when my spirituality was strengthening and my religious identification floundering.  As I’ve stated before, I consider religion and spirituality to be separate entities, and it is not my intention to promote any specific religion.*

GROUNDED: (Originally published on one of my other blogging platforms, for those of you who may recognize it.)

My feet are firmly planted and have been for a very long time. I have stability and security. I am grounded. I remain in control of my life. Yet at the same time I have grounded myself. Punishment for even desiring a life that was different from the one I imagined God planned for me. I was born with a heart defect yet I survived. That had to mean I was born to do great things. He had to have a purpose for me. Right? My life must’ve had meaning; wouldn’t you say? If so, then why was it so difficult to separate His “wishes” from my own?

Whenever I would pray to God the words went something like this, “Dear Lord, please help me find the strength inside myself to… (Insert any action here).” I never asked God or wanted Him to fix my problems for me. I asked for the help in figuring them out on my own. I asked for strength and guidance, but I made decisions that were acceptable with what I thought God expected of me. I believed God gave me certain gifts, skills, or talents that I should honor Him with utilizing but still do so in my own unique way and in my own time.

Granted, He never spoke directly to me and said, “Kelly, I want you to remain tightly wound in fear and security. It is my plan that you put everyone else’s well-being ahead of yours and live a life that leaves you constricted.” I don’t recall ever hearing that message. So how did I come to live by those words? Feeling so strongly that life held great purpose had to mean I was bestowed a gift that most others either didn’t receive or chose not to utilize. That meant I was supposed to make a difference. I had to put all my attention and efforts towards helping other people at the expense of my “superficial” dreams. Pursuing a career in TV or music when I could instead devote my time and energy to ministry or a career of the same methodology? I craved creativity and found music and serialized television re-enforced my own artistic needs. Unfortunately, I spent so much time living life through someone else’s stories that I didn’t pay enough attention to creating my own.

It’s only now that I realize my life has been enriched by the creativity I bring forth. I embrace the significance my writings and musical abilities bring to my life. I can’t claim that I hold regret and resentment in my heart any longer as my life’s path led me to where I am now. How much was influenced or assisted by a higher power? I’ll never truly know. All I can do now is learn from what didn’t work out well and remember those decisions that helped me flourish. If I never try I will never know. If I don’t spread my wings and fly then I’ll remain grounded.

 

**I am an Artistic Spirit! For most of my life I’ve used the creative arts as a source of spiritual exploration and healing, even though I didn’t always do so consciously. Sometimes I was the instrument creating the art and other times I was on the receiving end. The connection between art and spirituality is so significant in my life that it’s infused into everything I do. I love music, theatre, television drama series (daytime and primetime), and creative writing and find fulfillment in artistic expression of various sorts: singing, acting, and jewelry design.  THANK YOU for your support along this journey!!!!!**

Published by Kelly Deeny

I am a writer, singer, jewelry designer, and theatre enthusiast. I use various forms of artistic expression for personal reflection, community discussion and creative inspiration. My premiere novel encapsulates all of the above. Follow along on my journey towards an artistic career!

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