Day 93 of the Artistic Spirit Pledge

111 Day Artistic Spirit Pledge: Spiritual Growth Through Creative Expression

Day 93: Valuing My Own Opinions

Raise your hand if you are a “People Pleaser”! *waving mine towards the sky*

I don’t know when it started or why, but I have this annoying tendency to seek other people’s approval – sometimes valuing their opinion more than my own. I surround myself with intelligent, open-minded, and creative individuals; my FANDS (family & friends) are always there for support and advice.

I seek their counsel regarding spiritual and emotional situations and value their input. However, I’ve noticed a dangerous trend; there are times in which I start to believe that my original idea was not as valid or that flaws exist in my opinion. Then, I scold myself for even thinking that way. “You’re stronger than this,” I say. “You know and understand your strengths, interests, and abilities better than anyone.” All very rational and motivational words of encouragement, yet I end up exhausted from the emotional struggle.

Does that mean my opinion was flawed if it could be so easily swayed? Is my self-confidence severely low in that I permit others to define my actions? Am I so concerned with what the general public will think that I second guess my instincts? I suspect that I am not the only one on this globe who contemplates such questions, but why discuss this now and during a time when I am pursuing a new career? Because bringing it to the surface means that I must address it as a hurdle to my success – both personally and professionally. Besides, admitting your flaws instead of hiding them can inspire change in you and respect among others.

Pondering my career - Pic taken at Terranea Resort (Rancho Palos Verdes, CA)
Pondering my career – Pic taken at Terranea Resort (Rancho Palos Verdes, CA)

I am an artist, a proclamation I will proudly declare to anyone. My affinity for and deep passion in the creative arts motivates me every single day. I’ll burst out in song at a moment’s notice or take to social media to comment about my favorite TV shows. I go to the stage door after a Broadway show to meet the show’s cast and say, “You did a great job!” I write dialogue with ease and enjoy creating fictional characters that are flawed yet in search of growth. I know, without a doubt, that these artistic skills and entertainment knowledge are calling me to share them with others. I just haven’t figured out a way to earn a living from them, as of yet.

I need a “day job”, as I’m frequently told. I need to be able to earn money so that I can then focus on the career that I actually want to pursue. Seems kind of warped to me, but then again, my current state of underemployment isn’t working (pun intended) out very well for me. I enjoy my part-time job and the occasional income I obtain as a freelance writer, but neither pays my bills. As I struggle with this day job versus preferred career dilemma, I’ve realized just how much I’ve absorbed others’ opinions on this subject instead of clearly and passionately stating my own. *I value the support and perspective of my FANDS, but I must give more value to my own insights.*

It hasn’t been an easy eight months, that’s for certain, primarily because I pulled the reins back on my own life. I stopped trusting my instincts and believing in my artistic abilities. As such, I watched my confidence fade and my dreams float out of reach. Not anymore!

I am strong. I am brave. I am kind. I am passionate. I am open-minded. I am spiritual. I am a friend. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am an aunt. I am a writer. I am a singer. I am a jewelry designer. I am an actor. I am a TV viewer. I am a theatre-goer.

I am an Artistic Spirit and that’s a title worthy of an office nameplate!

 

**I am an Artistic Spirit! For most of my life I’ve used the creative arts as a source of spiritual exploration and healing, even though I didn’t always do so consciously. Sometimes I was the instrument creating the art and other times I was on the receiving end. The connection between art and spirituality is so significant in my life that it’s infused into everything I do. I love music, theatre, television drama series (daytime and primetime), and creative writing and find fulfillment in artistic expression of various sorts: singing, acting, and jewelry design. Throughout the next 18 days, I’ll delve into how all of the above strengthens my spirit and has saved my life on more than one occasion.**

Published by Kelly Deeny

I am a writer, singer, jewelry designer, and theatre enthusiast. I use various forms of artistic expression for personal reflection, community discussion and creative inspiration. My premiere novel encapsulates all of the above. Follow along on my journey towards an artistic career!

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