I consider myself a mostly congenial person and yet I’ve allowed anger to fester within me since the morning of November 9th, 2016. There’s much to be angry about: bigotry, prejudice, the shift to an Environmental “Non-Protection” Agency, separation of families, sexual harassment and assault, and inequality based on gender, skin color, and/or orientation. The utter lack of decency and common sense infused into our policies and conversation sickens me in mind, body, and spirit. I feel dirty, like the stain of injustice won’t ever come clean.
I spoke up and out, marched in protests, carried frustration and disbelief in my heart. I questioned friendships, faith, and the sanity of our nation. I wished for things to be different; for supporters of the White House’s policies and beliefs to wake their spirits from the sleeping curse casted. I wanted…hoped…wished for people to change so we could resume a relatively peaceful cohabitation with one another and the planet we call Earth.
I’ve absorbed what I see and hear, feeling somehow it’s my life’s purpose to make things better; to reach out to all anger-tainted souls and give them a virtual hug but how/where/when do I begin? It’s overwhelming in retrospect to hold such high expectations/assumptions of responsibility. I think of it as follows:
“How do I counter all the hate, fear, violence, and bigotry flowing through America’s veins like a contaminated river? I add droplets of hope, kindness, and compassion but they quickly get stuck in the pollution, drowning.”
My mind swam as I rested my head for a good night’s sleep last evening, plagued with disillusionment, and I thought “Hate, fear, anger – you are not welcome here!” I raised my hands towards the ceiling, calling upon that which is energy true – my spirit’s monologue. My hands pulsated with heat as I stretched them high in the lightless room, envisioning streams of compassion and grace reaching the crevices of a hate-filled heart. I poured out my heart with words pure of truth, cleansed my soul, and cleared my mind of anger’s weight.
I woke invigorated, with the knowledge that I can only change that which I control – my own thoughts and actions. Anger, fear, and disillusionment remain but they are mere reminders of what is true…they do not define me either in mind, body, or soul. I move forward with both my head and spirit lifted, outstretching hands as I go.