I consider myself a mostly congenial person and yet I’ve allowed anger to fester within me since the morning of November 9th, 2016. There’s much to be angry about: bigotry, prejudice, the shift to an Environmental “Non-Protection” Agency, separation of families, sexual harassment and assault, and inequality based on gender, skin color, and/or orientation. The utter lack of decency and common sense infused into our policies and conversation sickens me in mind, body, and spirit. I feel dirty, like the stain of injustice won’t ever come clean.
I spoke up and out, marched in protests, carried frustration and disbelief in my heart. I questioned friendships, faith, and the sanity of our nation. I wished for things to be different; for supporters of the White House’s policies and beliefs to wake their spirits from the sleeping curse casted. I wanted…hoped…wished for people to change so we could resume a relatively peaceful cohabitation with one another and the planet we call Earth.
I’ve absorbed what I see and hear, feeling somehow it’s my life’s purpose to make things better; to reach out to all anger-tainted souls and give them a virtual hug but how/where/when do I begin? It’s overwhelming in retrospect to hold such high expectations/assumptions of responsibility. I think of it as follows:
“How do I counter all the hate, fear, violence, and bigotry flowing through America’s veins like a contaminated river? I add droplets of hope, kindness, and compassion but they quickly get stuck in the pollution, drowning.”
My mind swam as I rested my head for a good night’s sleep last evening, plagued with disillusionment, and I thought “Hate, fear, anger – you are not welcome here!” I raised my hands towards the ceiling, calling upon that which is energy true – my spirit’s monologue. My hands pulsated with heat as I stretched them high in the lightless room, envisioning streams of compassion and grace reaching the crevices of a hate-filled heart. I poured out my heart with words pure of truth, cleansed my soul, and cleared my mind of anger’s weight.
I woke invigorated, with the knowledge that I can only change that which I control – my own thoughts and actions. Anger, fear, and disillusionment remain but they are mere reminders of what is true…they do not define me either in mind, body, or soul. I move forward with both my head and spirit lifted, outstretching hands as I go.
Published by Kelly Deeny
I am a writer, singer, jewelry designer, and theatre enthusiast. I use various forms of artistic expression for personal reflection, community discussion and creative inspiration. My premiere novel encapsulates all of the above. Follow along on my journey towards an artistic career!
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